I am a task-oriented and goal-setting person in life and work. I hate downtime. I hate being overly early to meetings, as I could have gotten that ‘one more thing done’. My life operates by moving from one task to the next. To be honest, in my conversations, I am more of a person of “give me the facts” or “give me the information I need and let’s move on”. If you look at my DISC profile I am a strong ‘D’ which is both task and active-oriented. My ‘D’ says let’s get in there, grab the bull by the horns, make a decision, and move on to the next thing. This is both good and bad.
It is positive in that I’m able to accomplish the things I need to accomplish. It is good because it keeps me motivated and moving. It is good…
Yet it is bad, you see because I am so task-oriented, I can inadvertently come across as cold and uncaring. Cold and uncaring is not me, but because I’m constantly moving from one task to the next it is difficult for me to slow down, much less stop, and truly listen to others. This is a lesson I’m constantly having to learn and relearn and relearn again. This is a lesson I am and have struggled to perfect. This is a lesson that affects so much of life both positively and negatively. It affects my marriage relationship with my wife. It affects my relationship with my children. It affects my relationship with my friends. It affects my ability to lead.
Let me ask you a question, how does your personality type affect your relationships and your life both positively and negatively?
When it comes to leadership, the lesson I’m learning is leading is as much about relationships with those you lead as it is about accomplishing the goal. It is and must be a both/and. It is foolish to try to accomplish a goal through leadership without investing in the relationships with those you lead. For me and maybe for you, this all comes down to truly listening. To come to a full stop and truly listen and hear someone out.
Here are the questions I working through now and maybe questions for you to work through as well.
- Am I making the people I have relationships with and those I lead feel valued and important?
- Am I creating enough margin in my day to slow down and truly listen?
For me without this margin, I simply race from one task to the next with little time in between. In full transparency, I haven’t done a very good job of creating margins in the past few months.
- Am I truly listening or am I thinking of responses?
People matter because they matter to the Lord. Are we listening to love? Are we listening to minister to them? Are we listening?
P.S.- Speaking of DISC profiles. If I can assist your leadership (church, business, or organization) with a DISC profile that will give you insight into the leadership and communication dynamics, as well as how to communicate with different personalities, I would love to be able to assist you.
Leave a Reply